Love your neighbor as you love yourself

Recently I have been reading a book called "Disciple" by Juan Carlos Ortiz (thanks to my friend Matt Stambaugh for the loan). I have not finished it but felt compelled to at least throw some thoughts out on the blog since I have not written in a while.


One of the main points is about the Biblical statement: "Love your neighbor as you love yourself". This particularly hit me since Dee and I are struggling with our current spiritual situation. This quote seems innocuous enough. Love other people as you love yourself. But what does that really mean? As I read the book more light bulbs lit and epiphanies happened. Some of what Ortiz talks about in the book is that the core of Christianity (and all religions for that matter) is "love". When we treat each other with respect and put others before ourselves than we can achieve happiness.


For some that might mean eternal life in heaven, for others Nirvana and oneness with the universe, for others inner peace and joy, for others the conquering of inner and outer demons, trials and tribulations. For me, having studied and taught many philosophies and religions these points all come from the same place. It's not about us. It's about something bigger than us. Call that God, Allah, Brahman, Grand Unified Theory or any of the other million names of the power of the universe; it does not really matter in the end. What matters is that we stop looking at ourselves and start seeing the world around us. It is a beautiful place even with the ugliness, evil, darkness, etc. I explain to my students that you cannot have good without the presence of evil, beauty without ugliness, light without darkness. The opposite of good is not 'evil', it is 'not good'. The opposite of 'light' is not 'dark' it is 'not light'. Light and dark are 'complementary' not opposite. They are two parts of a greater whole ("love" or "balance").


The Chinese have explained these things through the concept of Yin and Yang. These two form a dichotomy; two halves of a greater whole. They serve as balance to each other. Sometimes Yin (female, cold, dark) is greater than Yang ( male, hot, light). Sometimes the other way. But one cannot exist without the other and they form a continuous example of balance. So while reading the Ortiz book I made the connection again that 'love' as described in the Bible, 'submission' in Islam, the Middle Path in Buddhism, Yin-Yang in Taoism all represent a goal we should all seek--balance.


Unfortunately I do not always see people seeking to exhibit 'love' or 'balance'. Too often I see people in the extremes. Too hot; too cold; too light; too dark; too me; too you...Not enough "us" as a whole. This is where I am at in my spiritual and philosophical journey. I am being pulled back to the center point of balance. I see people around me wanting to make things about them and not about the greater balance of the universe and life.


I told my wife last night as the celebration of our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary came to a close that of all people I see her as one of the greatest examples of balance I know. For my companion of all these years it is not about her...it is about everyone else. She is a true servant.


That is another point in the "Disciple" book. If we are to achieve "love" or "balance" as I always think of it, we must stop living in the extreme of our own desires and wants and give freely to others so that we can maintain the proper balance of the universe.


One fact about the great philosophers and spiritual leaders of history is that they were all "Servants" to a greater whole. Can we truly emulate them and be "servants" as well?

Chief Services Officer SM (CSO)

I have been using this term for quite a long time (at least 5 years or more). I thought I should probably put it down in writing officially so that I have some claim to it in the future. I have found 1 company on the internet that uses this term but not sure of others. Just in case...also I am not sure if you can Trademark, Service Mark or Copyright a job title, but what the heck..

I came up with this term in relationship to the work I do. Many organizations have CIOs, CFOs, COOs, CEOs, etc. But I have never seen someone called a Chief Service Officer. Yet in this day and age when many companies are shifting to being service providers, wouldn't it make sense to have someone in charge of providing, managing and guiding those services? I thought so! So here it for all posterity!

If you don't run your own life, somebody else will.

I found this quote from a man named John Atkinson in my RSS feeds. I thought it was appropriate given the current state of the renovations going on with our home. Some of you who may read this know we are getting extensive renovations done on our home. At least that is the plan. So far very little overall work has actually gotten completed. Excuses and unfilled promises by our contractor have left us stressed and wondering if the work will get done by the deadline (May 10). After meeting with the FHA inspector yesterday, I decided I had enough of being run and controlled by the contractor. I was letting the contractor convince me that the work would get done. He has been running my life. Well it is time to take my life back.

I don't generally like to play hardball with people. I like when people affirm me as a person, and I like to affirm them back. But sometimes you have got to put a stake in the ground and take control. The title of this entry says it all. You have got to take control (even if that is tough and results in being a bit mean to other people). In our current situation the stress is getting too much.

One thing I do not understand is how people feel they can get away with such a terrible work ethic. My kids know I do not "promise" things. In the last 25 years I have said that to my children and wife and everyone else less than a dozen times. When I make a promise it means I am 100% committed to fulfilling that promise. A contract to do work is a promise. You MUST come through. You cannot jack people around when you make such commitments. It is not just a legal thing, it is an ethical and moral thing. It is just not the right way to act or behave. Because I am not perfect, I do not feel I can make such commitments lightly. Things happen; life gets in the way. We all know that. But a contract or a promise is an agreement to put life aside while you fulfill your promise.

I really do hope this all works out with our contractor. He is a young guy trying to build a business. Unfortunately for him, this is no way to go about achieving success. I cannot recommend him to others when he has failed to even come close to our expectations. Ans that is what it is all about. Setting expectations, meeting them and managing everything that goes on around meeting those expectations and obligations.

But if you let others run your life, you will never be able to have those expectations met. Nor will you be able to look others in the face with honesty and integrity and be the person they expect you to be.

Christ was not a Christian; Buddha was not a Buddhist and Confucius was not a Confucian

Recently we have been going through some team storming while helping to launch a young church. The church spun off from our home church and has been "under construction" for the last two years. As with any team, the period of forming is beyond us and we are well into the "storming" phase. This will eventually pass and we will move into "norming" and "performing". In the meantime though there has arisen issues around accountability, communications, commitment, inclusiveness and falling into the status quo approach to church.

The more I thought about these things, the more the statement "Christ was not a Christian, Buddha was not a Buddhist and Confucius was not a Confucian" becomes important. I heard this while watching an unnamed program about religion on our local PBS station (one of my favorite stations). The show had some very insighful comments from religious leaders (including the Dalai Lama, priests, ministers, Muslim clerics, and others). This one stuck with me so I wrote it down. I wondered how I might use it for good. With the events I mentioned above weighing on my mind, and adding pages on Evernote (www.evernote.com) I once again came across this wisdom from other people.

Why is this statement important? Well, I believe it helps keep things in perspective. Even in faith we must remember that it was not Jesus, Buddha or Confucius who founded the respective religions associated with their names. It was others. These individuals simply taught what they each believed were important and life-changing lessons. It was those that came afterward that took those lessons and elevated those individuals to higher positions within a hierarchy or organized faith or philosophy. It was later generations that either correctly interpreted the wisdom or royally screwed it up. Too often people in today's world want to associate the world's screw-ups and human foibles to these wise men and not accept accountability or responsibility for themselves.

When faced with issues of faith and trust, it is important to keep perspective. It is flawed humans who make choices and decisions. Choices are in our hands--even choosing not to choose is still choosing (maybe a future blog post on that one?). In our current situation with our church I have this underlying sense that some people want me to believe that choices are not in my hands. I guess that is not really my conception of how the Creator/God works. The movie "Evin Almighty" had a great line about this. Does God give us success or the opportunity to succeed? Does the Creator give us forgiveness or the opportunity to forgive? I truly believe the latter is true. Whether you call the grand force of the unoverse God, Creator, Allah, or whatever, I truly believe we must make the choice to do something with what has been presented to us. We must make the most of things in life. Issues will not fix themselves. Ignoring them won't make them go away.

The issues our team of church leaders is facing were created by us. We are accountable and responsible for recognizing that and taking steps to either live with the crap we have served ourselves or doing something different and getting better. (Here is where Einstein's definition of insanity comes in--doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results). I hope those involved in the issues with our church and anyone who happens to read this journal can work towards understanding that you must fix the issues you created in yourself before you can fix the issues in others.

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.

While watching the movie Ghost Town with my family, I saw this quote on a poster in the office of the main character. It is from Albert Einstein (one of my personal idols) and speaks to thoughts I have had of late. Given that we have just passed through the (Judeo-Christian) holiday season, it comes to mind the importance of living your life not for yourself, but for others.

With the world in a financial mess pretty much due to personal and corporate greed and unwavering belief that capitalism is the answer to everything, I have to stop and take a moment to shake my head. I do this, as my wife says, as a sign of contempt. We found out that rolling one's eyes is a sign of contempt, and the more a couple rolls their eyes at each other, the liklier they are to divorce. So Denise says I do not roll my eyes, rather shake my head in the same sort of gesture. In this case I am showing my contempt for those who got the world into the mess we are in by focusing on themselves, rather than others.

As is the focus of this blog, it is a case of not listening to the wisdom of people like Einstein. He in turn was simply restating the age old wisdom of spiritual leaders like Jesus and the Buddha. It might not be patently clear, but humans do not exist for themselves. We have survived and triumphed in the world because we have learned to put aside our own needs and focus on the needs of others before our own. Jean-Jacques Rousseau (the French Enlightenment philosopher) called this the social contract. Pretty simple--giving up your indivdual rights for the greater good. That is what it is all about.

As I told my wife, I hope no one ever tries to accuse us of not giving of our time, talent and/or treasure. We are in fact probably over generous. It may not be in the way, shape, form or time that people want, but it is in the spirit of what Einstein stated. To me that is the most important thing. That you live with a focus outward towards others, rather than inward towards oneself.

If you get a chance check out Ghost Town. It is a cute movie with a good message, and has some good laughs to boot.

To Thine Own Self Be True (Part 1)

The words of William Shakespeare ring true through the ages:

This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.

--Hamlet

Those who know me know that I am extremely confident (to the point of arrogance or so people tell me). I have told people in the past that 95% of the time what I predict might happen comes to be in some form or another. Maybe not literally, but generally or figuratively. How can I be this self-assured (or maybe arrogant)? It is because of what Bill Shakespeare said above: "To thine own self be true." If you can be true to yourself, no one else can tell you anything you do not already know. For example, I am a big person. I way about 300 lbs. If someone calls me "fat" or "stocky" or any other term, I am not offended. This is because I am true to myself and know I am a large person, that I weigh too much and that it is not good for my health. Because I practice the words of Shakespeare, I am pretty much not offended by or sensitive about anything. Any words or jokes or statements someone tells to me cannot hurt me, because I am my own worst critic. My confidence comes from that fact.

Now, this has often gotten me into trouble in the past. Because I come across as confident (or arrogant) to some I threaten them or offend them in some way. It is not because what I did or said was really offensive or insensitive. It is because they have not been true to themselves. I had a boss who kept saying: "You cannot call a person's baby ugly". What he meant was that you should not criticize other people's work because they might get offended. But why? I realized it was because they were not true to themselves. It is not being dishonest if it is true. If the baby is ugly, the parents should be the first to accept that fact. Then they can go about life in truth, rather than living in some ideal, Utopian, world of denial. If a person's work is less than stellar or incorrect they should be the first to recognize that. Then they can make the correct efforts to improve their work. If they continue to feel their baby is beautiful or their work is superb, they are generally settings things up for disaster--a lifetime of ridicule or failure to move ahead in the world.

Being ugly or poor at your job is not a crime. It is a fact or reality. Facts are neither good nor bad. They just are. When you are true to yourself and accept the facts about you, then the only person who can offend or truly criticize you is you. The "offensive" or "insensitive" words hold no meaning anymore. They are empty. And because the words are empty they cannot fill you with anger or destructive forces. Truth and confidence in yourself is a shield no one can break.

Let's say you have a major project for work or school. You are putting in a lot of effort to do the work. You turn it in. Your supervisor or teacher looks it over and informs you it is not what they wanted or not good enough or poorly done. Many people take offense at that and then begin to get angry or hate or resent their "idiot" boss or their "stupid" teacher. If the person were to accept that they had not met the goal or "cut the mustard", and that they needed to go back and do better next time, things would work out a lot better for everyone. Overtime they might even realize that they need to do it right the first time, every time. When you are confident that you will only do your best and that you are right, there is no need to worry about whether you have done what is expected.

Take some time and google the following concept: COMPLETED STAFF WORK. I think it will help to further cement what Bill Shakespeare so eloquently put into Hamlet.

Welcome to Other People's Wisdom

Welcome to Other People's Wisdom!

This is a sometimes rant, sometimes rave about the importance of looking for lessons in how smart and wise people have seen the world and the wisdom they have provided over the ages and how we can use that wisdom today. By focusing on other people's wisdom, I am not claiming to be wise myself, only to show the world that some very smart and wise people people have left us a treasure trove of data, information, knowledge and wisdom. That way we do not have to re-invent the wheel. This blog is my way of de-stressing about things in the world that aggravate me. By writing them down I have a tendancy not to say them out loud and thus piss off sensitive people as I have done repeatedly in the past. It also helps me capture the voices in my head for all time.

Whomever may end up reading this, I hope you enjoy.